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Today, I overheard some seniors gossiping, just like any other average day at lunch. And it wasn’t just anyone they were gossiping about today. It was me.

To say I didn’t care at first, what that girl was saying about me, would be a lie. And that’s really hard to admit, because inside we all do really care about what others think about us. It’s a natural reflex to make sure that you have a good reputation and that everyone likes you. So at first, yes, I cared so much that I went in tears to one of my best friends and told her what happened. And that’s when I started really thinking, why do I care about this girl who is going to graduate in a couple months? Why do I care if she thinks something bad about me and makes fun of it to her friends(who I knew btw).

But before I get into that, I’ve got to say, parts of what she said was true. She described the series of events correctly. To give a little background, I’m in journalism and a yearbook designer asked me to interview someone for her spread. I went into the class, quietly asked the teacher if I could interview her(so I didn’t interrupt the other students as they were working on something on their laptops). I expected the teacher to call out her name, but he just stood there, so I asked for where she sat. He pointed towards her and just stared. And that, was the most awkward moment of this whole ordeal, at least, to me. The girl I needed to interview was listening to music, so when I called her name, she didn’t look up or respond. So, I tapped her shoulder, and finally she looked up. I asked her for an interview and she sharply replied ‘sure.’ I interviewed her, asked her a couple of questions, and she barely had anything to say. We were done within a minute, so I headed back to the press room.

And as all of this was happening, I didn’t realize that there was someone watching and critiquing every move I had made. I didn’t find anything wrong with what I did, and if you do, please tell me, because I’m still having trouble with why she hated how I asked for an interview with that other girl.

Anyways, during lunch, she and her senior friends were sitting in one corner while my friends and I were sitting on the opposite end of the petite room. And then, I heard it. My name. My friends and I sat there astonished as she recounted what had happened from her perspective, calling the whole ordeal, “awkward” and “weird.” They then noticed that I was actually in the room, and it went silent. Some giggles arose as the awkward silence consumed the room. I left a short five minutes later for my next class and was told one of the other seniors told her that she needed to apologize. According to my friend, she made up some lame excuse and said that she would text me.

I never got that text.

And I don’t think I really care about that anymore. Sure, it will be a little awkward the next time I see her, and a little uncomfortable the next time I see her friends, which will be the day after tomorrow because they are in my journalism class. How wonderful right? But truly, even though I cared so much within those first few hours, do I really care now? It was embarrassing, and probably ruined my reputation a little, one that I had put blood, sweat, and tears to earn, by the way. But within six months, I won’t be hearing her name ever again. (Well, maybe by her junior friends.)

There has to be some psychology beneath why we care so much about things like this. I honestly don’t have the answer right now, but I wish I did. I have seen so many instances in which people have slaved away over trying to make everyone like them. That used to be me, about a month ago. That’s when I realized, everyone has enemies. Everyone has people who don’t like them. That girl who was gossiping about me does. I do. The guy next door does. Everyone thinks and reacts to situations differently and we should respect that, rather than telling someone about the situation without knowing the true background and what really happened. Rather than crying or yelling at someone for not thinking the way you do.

So why do we care so much about what others think?

You tell me.

This week in English class, we just started reading the book Outliers. I just got to the end of Chapter Two, The Ten-Thousand Hour Rule, and I can’t say that I haven’t enjoyed it. Quick English class tip for high school students- use an audio book and read along. It helps so much with understanding what is going on in the book and although it takes more time, it will significantly help your comprehension.

Anyways, Outliers really connected to me, even after just reading two chapters. Some of my friends thought it was boring, and some thought it was super interesting, and then I started to think about it. Do I really agree with what the book is saying. That preparation and opportunity matters a lot more than we think for success. That we don’t live in a world based on meritocracy, but a world in which luck matters almost equally with talent.

I’m really indifferent at this point, especially after reading Chapter Two. I agree with the idea and statement that our world is absolutely not a meritocracy. I despise and disagree with the statement that I perceived in Chapter Two- Success only comes to people who work hard.

And like Malcolm Gladwell, I have my own examples and theories that make complete sense to me. But will it make sense to you?

My school has a very competitive environment, especially in the music department. We all work our butts off in band to try to make honors, some more than others. Unfortunately, most of us never make it to the top. After hours of practicing, most of us, by sophomore year, have given up. This is contradictory to Gladwell’s claim that practice and preparation ultimately give rise to a successful elite. An example within our band environment can also be seen back in eighth grade, during middle school. It was an equally competitive environment, thus leading to only a couple people being at the very top of the competition. In the Fall, the region holds a region band competition, leading to the top of the pack in one ultimate band filled with prestige. I competed and made it past the first round but ended up three away from actually making a band. Unlike me, two of my friends made the bands. One, who claims she started practicing two weeks before the audition, made top band. The other made the second band and had been practicing for months.

This example clearly indicates that sometimes it isn’t about how many hours you put in, but also how much talent you simply have. So what ultimately makes success? A whole mix of things. Luck, preparation, talent, love, kindness, opportunity, intelligence, and so much more, and some of which, Gladwell does address.

Successful people aren’t made in one day, or even a year. It takes time, starting from the day we were born. The moment in which we entered the world, we were introduced to an environment where we would grow and learn. A school in which we would make friends and become smarter. A home in which we would be disciplined and loved. A library to learn, a movie theater for entertainment. A world for passion.

And the most passionate of us, the most balanced, the most determined, the most brave will rise above all and influence the world for the better.

That is success.

Category: Questions

Why Do We Care so Much About What Others Think About Us?

What Creates Success?